Cosmo just doesn't get it - STILL

Despite the huge backlash against hack writer Laura Sessions Stepp, Cosmo still grants her the opportunity to bore us with her woman-shaming attitudes and judgemental condescension.

From Jezebel:

Laura Sessions Stepp was the first to speak at any length, and she basically rehashed the article she had written in Cosmo peppered with some of her usual anti-hook-up propaganda. Blah, blah, women should be dating and not just having casual sex, blah, blah, there wouldn't be so much assault if they had real relationships.

It's your own fault sluts because everybody knows that there is never any rape of and by people in relationships. Forget about what every survey says, that 90% of rape is committed by a friend, family member or intimate partner of the victim, if it doesn't fit with your little theory. Being in a relationship doesn't save you but makes your more vulnerable. It would be a fine thing, Sessions Stepp, if you did a little fact checking.

Two of the three men on the panel, Neal Irvin, the National Director of Men Can Stop Rape and anti-violence activist Joe Samalin, focused their commentary on the need to educate men. "The way we socialize men to think about sexuality is the reason they're confused about gray rape," said Irwin. "We're taught that men are the seekers, women are the gatekeepers." An interesting point, but neither Irvin nor Samalin gave concrete examples on how to help educate or socialize the men in question.

Some blah blah about socialisation but no attempt for men to take responsibility. Blatant acceptance of the words grey rape as if it were valid. No questioning of the term. Women are blamed for not protecting their virtue. Nothing new there.

Linda Fairstein, the former chief prosecutor in the Manhattan D.A.'s Sex Crimes Unit, was the only commentator who said anything remotely useful in terms of defining gray rape. "There is no such thing as gray rape in the criminal justice system," Fairstein explained.

"Men are responsible," Fairstein continued. "They shouldn't be having sex with wasted women. Vomit should probably be a red flag... But teaching responsibility to young women is just as important. You don't have to drink eight drinks. You don't have to get blotto."

And some facts - grey rape does not exist. Finally. But... it's still your fault. You were drunk. What did you expect? Be a good girl. Don't drink. If you drink and are raped, it's your fault. Don't take drugs. If you take drugs and are raped, it's your fault. Always be on the alert. Live your life in fear. It's never the man's fault, you must have done something to deserve it.

The pervasive notion of grey rape, that Cosmo seems to be promoting is a dangerous one. It is basically letting rapists off the hook because yeah she might have said no be she meant yes. It's perverted. I've said it before: no consent is rape. I don't take if the people in question have slept together before, or have been fooling around or if one or the other is intoxicated. No consent = rape.

Why are women forced into the role of a child. Children must be protected because they are unable to protect themselves. Women are adults and do not need to be preached to and shamed by magazine's hacks, governments, church leaders, and big brothers. Just do your damn jobs. Enforce the law and prosecute rapists. Stop blaming the victims. Would you blame a stab victim for getting stabbed? Would you blame a murder victim for being killed. So why do you blame a rape victim for getting raped?

I suggest a boycott of this piece of shit magazine, not only because of the serious grey rape issue but also because of the content.

Cosmo was started to discuss sexuality in the swinging sixties but these days it is a parody of the Stepford Wives: "Be a good girlfriend"; "How to please your man"; "How to give the perfect blowjob". It might as well be, "how to keep the house tidy", which would fit in nicely with the spate of recent articles on how housework is feminist, and "I'm nothing without a man by my side", which is cropping up all over the place.

NO MORE, Cosmo, NO MORE