Pictures from NYT

There are some pretty pictures in the slideshow accompanying the New York Times article 36 hours in Phnom Penh.

IMF and World Bank to bail out the US?

I love the taste of satire in the morning and the wingnutty comments set me up for the day.

Dear United States, Welcome to the Third World!

It's not every day that a superpower makes a bid to transform itself into a Third World nation, and we here at the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund want to be among the first to welcome you to the community of states in desperate need of international economic assistance. As you spiral into a catastrophic financial meltdown, we are delighted to respond to your Treasury Department's request that we undertake a joint stability assessment of your financial sector. In these turbulent times, we can provide services ranging from subsidized loans to expert advisors willing to perform an emergency overhaul of your entire government...

It's funny because it could be true!

Better than coffee?

I have made a most startling discovery. It has been tested on a sample group of one and 100% of the group agree that X is better than coffee for waking me and staying awake.

Coffee is

is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat.

What could possibly replace coffee, that nectar of the gods? Certainly nothing as simple as a cinnamon stick in hot water. Alas yes, while I still love my black bitter coffee, I alternate with cinnamon water - that sounds revolting. How about : tisane de cinnamon (sounds pretenious)? Cin keeps you up all night (open to misinterpretation)? Cinnamon tea is what I'll have to stick to I guess. Try it and let me know if it works for you or whether it's just me!

Apology - sort of

I got a non apology from Heart for her slander.

Thanks so much to those who supported me and called her out, especially Belledame, Hexy, Lisa, Ren. Thanks to Mike and Ariane for the offline handholding!

Lock up your dogs

Until recently dog was considered unclean meat but not anymore because apparently rat is out of season. There still seem to be plenty around though. Bronwyn Sloan has the info.

Forget your daughters – concentrate on locking up your dogs, or they could become the unwitting latest victims of the global food crisis, Cambodian dog owners and police warned this week.

Police have no firm figures, but anecdotal evidence suggests there is a dognapping epidemic underway in Cambodia

Conventional meats such as pork were increasingly becoming out of reach for some Cambodians as the price of all meats nearly doubled, and enterprising dog thieves had begun roaming the cities armed with wire lassoes, snaring dogs who ventured outside their homes, or even, in some cases, too close to their front gates.

I've heard stories before about the wife of a general who was having some building done. She paid considerably less than the average salary for the work but the builders could live on site for the duration. Dogs disappeared from the surrounding streets for the duration.

Pets

Don't quite know what pet to get and have more money than sense, consider a crocodile.

Phnom Penh - As the price of crocodiles for commercial use plummets locally, a Cambodian company has sought out an alternative market niche - mail-order pet crocs.

The hybrid saltwater Siamese crocodiles might not make loving pets, but they do possess lovable qualities, Crocodiles Cambodia insisted on its website.

For 2,355 dollars, the company mails 18 eggs and an incubator wrapped in brown paper and said more than 90 per cent of its shipments make it through customs around the world.

For those who might need a helping hand with their new babies, Siem Reap-based Crocodiles Cambodia provides links to crocsite.com with tips for new owners.

"No doubt when you think of a crocodile as your pet, you might be wondering if it will work out," crocsite.com said.

But have no fear - or only a few, at least.

"They can be harmful for the inexperienced lovers," the website said. "... There is no doubt that crocodiles are not for kids. They can be ... potentially harmful to other pets, and even people."

Yes, really!

Broken heart? Stay at home

From Reuters

Lovelorn staff at a Japanese marketing company can take paid time off after a bad break-up with a partner, with more "heartache leave" on offer as they get older.

Tokyo-based Hime & Company, which also gives staff paid time off to hit the shops during sales season, says heartache leave allows staff to cry themselves out and return to work refreshed. "Not everyone needs to take maternity leave but with heartbreak, everyone needs time off, just like when you get sick," CEO Miki Hiradate, whose company of six women markets cosmetics and other goods targeted for women, told Reuters by telephone.

Staff aged 24 years or younger can take one day off per year, while those between 25 and 29 can take two days off and those older can take three days off, the company said.

What a fabulous idea! Now that's an understanding employer. So much better than staring at the ceiling and biting your lip to stop the tears. But how many of those employees will be in work in 15 February?

Could do with some of that here. According to my horoscope, it's heart in a blender time!

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
If you're looking for a challenge, you've found it! If you're looking for an "unconventional" relationship, you've found it! If sweet, loving, tender, committed, long-term relationships seem "boring" to you, then you won't find this one dull! If you're looking to have your heart pummeled in a blender, it's your lucky week!

Luckily I don't believe in astrology.

Misogynist

Don't you think it's almost worse when a misogynist hides behind a veneer of equality instead of admitting it up front? If you hate me for being a woman, don't try and hide it under respectability.

I was cornered by a man, I thought I knew quite well, on Saturday night. This man had slept with two of my friends unbeknownst to his girlfriend. He treated one of them really badly. He wanted information from me. He wanted to know who had told the world about his cheating.

He spoke to me as if I was unaware of the facts. Both women had told me their story. I was there when he pursed them. He pursued them ruthlessly and constantly and then cried like a baby when I said that I did not believe that he felt guilt over his cheating.

He believes that both girls tricked him into faithlessness. Yes he actually believes that. He claims that both pursued him. But I know better because I was a witness to both 'courtships'. He's re-enacting 'blame the woman' that game that we have been on the receiving end for time immemorial. Eve gave Adam the apple but he chose to eat it. Surely the patriarchy isn't claiming that he didn't have free will. Secondly, it's a myth. Get over it.

He is obsessed with finding out who spread rumours about his dalliances, afraid that his partner will find out. It is strange that he wants a name, someone he can threaten, even two months later, despite copious public displays of affection.

Of course he believes that only a woman would spread gossip like that. Of course he is wrong.

He demanded information from me. He was messing with the wrong person. So I let him feel the sharpness of my tongue. I called him on his misogyny and his lies and his treatment of my friends. I let him feel every piece of anger I had stored up instead. He denied it for a while but I broke him. Did he honestly believe, knowing the whole story, that I would side with him, a person who blames my gender for his actions? Never.

In his professional life, he preaches tolerance. In his personal life, he seemed full of hate and blame to me. I never would have thought it of him.

You drive in PP? Read this

From KI Media:

Kep Chuktema, the governor of Phnom Penh... ordered the posting of police and military police officers at all 38 light stops in the city of Phnom Penh, in order to efficiently put into application this new traffic law, starting 03 September.

He said that there should not be any wait for a meeting to inform about this law. Kep Chuktema ordered the posting of 5 civilian police officers and 5 military police officers at each stop light to put into application the new law. Kep Chuktema said that the application of the law does not mean that the 10 police officers stationed at each stop light should stop vehicles to demand bribes, but only for them to stop these vehicles to explain to their owners about the new traffic law.

He said that he ordered the cops not to fine the motorists, however, should fine be issued, receipts must be provided by the Ministry of Interior or by the Ministry of Finance. If no receipts are provided for the fines, the cops involved can be sentenced to jail between 6 months to 3 years. Kep Chuktema said that the cops at the stop lights must call in motorists to explain about the traffic law after 9:00 AM only, in order to avoid creating traffic jams.

So avoid the traffic lights until you've got your licence, unless you want to pay bribes!

Kampot

OK it's been driving me crazy. Any one got the number for the Bodhi Villa in Kampot? The one in the yellow pages isn't working.

A taste of Dublin

Yesterday I saw a tuktuk driver wearing a Dublin GAA Irish Football geansa.

Probably one of the strangest things I've seen here. Arnotts logo a blaze across it. Have they outsourced to Cambodia? Check your labels GAA fans and let me know.

Repairing a flat tire

This morning I discovered that I had a flat tire on the way to work and I brought my moto to a roadside repairman. He checked the tube and there was a fairly major rip and a new tube was required. Now I'd been to this particular repairman before and he had overcharged me to the tune of three time the regular price. It was my first tube change so I didn't know the price.

Ever since then I went elsewhere and got the regular price of $3. There were no questions asked in all the other places I went. It was always $3.

Getting back to today... this particular repairman was the only one between my house and my work and I was late to work so I thought I could negotiate with him, now that I know the correct price.

He cut the tube so there was no chance for just blowing it up for the 50 metres to my work and while getting it off the stand, managed to break one of the shock stabiliser. I was livid. He and the motodops gathered around laughed. I pushed it to work and the guards and drivers looked at it.

These guys were terrific. They bought me a tube and stabiliser, installed everything and wouldn't take a penny above cost. I am buying them presents for sure. My bike is now in perfect working order again.

It's amazing how often things like this happen. You get pissed off with a motodop or repairman for ripping you off even though you know the score and then somebody will come along and be so generous and giving. It keeps you off balance a little. Now all I have to decide on is what present to get!

Who needs 2nd gear?

It's not as difficult, as I imagined, to navigate on a motorbike without 2nd gear. Although, it is the best gear for turning corner and snooping on the unsuspecting, it is possible to do without it.

I have been working with 1st and 3rd and it's fine with a bit of practise. Having said that, I'm considering getting the bike fixed just in case 3rd decides to throw in the towel - 1st to 4th would be more of a challenge that 1st to 3rd. Here's to finding a mechanic that wouldn't rip me off!

And on a much lighter note... dating in Phnom Penh

Cross posted on Expat Advisory. Just a bit of light hearted fun, really...

The desperate and dateless situation for the females in Phnom Penh really hit hard on Valentine's day this year. This single gal assessed her options... I could have gone speed dating at the FCC but the idea of giving a kiss, hug or cross to a man I already know, work with, is married, or will invariably run into at 'The Shop' on Saturday morning didn't really appeal.

I could have put in a bid at the Bachelor Auction but decided that things really were getting desperate if I had to pay for a date...

So, unfortunately did a Bridget Jones and went along to the FCC as a non-participant, drank copious amounts of red wine, danced with the girls, ate some chocolates given to me by a girlfriend (my only Valentine) and by 11pm was singing Johnny Paul Young's 'Love is in the Air' VERY loudly... Oh well, just another Wednesday (Or was that Friday?) night in Phnom Penh...eek! - Cassie

Behold the lament of single girls in Phnom Penh. Sure there are plenty of boys around the city, but once you've ruled out Cambodian, married or faithful to girlfriend, gay or sexpat, there are few left.

Talking about the single boys, Cambodia has a glut of professional single women and a paucity of eligible men.

Identify and target the eligible boys, is the name of the game whether you play for laughs or to win. Genya said, Did I find someone I like? A couple but they were all taken within a matter of minutes!

So already there are few single boys and of those few there are, to quote Bridget Jones, alcoholics, workoholics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts, and so the pool gets shallower.

Often the question arises from those in couples dispensing helpful advice to people who are happier than they are, of why expat girls don't date Cambodian boys. Well some brave girls do until they are left for a previously undisclosed marriage or a marriage-to-be. As one girl said the cultural differences are such that the power imbalance would be considerable for the average Cambodian male. The girls I know who do date Cambodians had to teach them how to kiss, which bodes ill for having a fun time.

I'm not sure if the word disaster covers the dating situation that single girls find themselves in when they arrive in country, so I asked the girls for their perspective

'A lost cause' is how I would describe the dating here. - K

Dating in Cambodia sucks... I have been here for a year now and have yet to go on a date and it's not due to the lack of propositioning. - B

A date in Cambodia? It's like snow in the Sahara! - Genya

A vision of the Sahara desert comes to mind - dry, barren and rough. - X

It's not that I never meet anyone, I mean I don't, but I don't want a backpacker, an intern, a bi-both ways, a guy only after Khmer girls or a married guy! Just simply a normal guy with a job and some kind of goals in life! Yet it seems I'm asking too much! - K

I might be pessimistic, though I see it as being realistic. I'm basically not ever, not even through naiveté, going to sleep with a man that's into the commercial sex scene, even if this means being completely devoid of any sexual activity... and damn am I going crazy! - B

It sucks to be straight and single in this town but what about the gay girls? What's the scene like? The rumours are that the straight girls have started dating gay girls because the boys are just not present.

What is the scene like - great if you're a lesbian - they seem to get loads of sex, apparently from all the frustrated straight girls too! - Genya

As a gay girl in Phnom Penh, attempting to 'hook up' is not really the question, avoiding becoming the subject of gossip and rumours, is. Still, with people leaving and new ones arriving, the scene hopefully rotates enough to make it sustainable fun.

One interesting facet of the scene is that there are an inordinate number of 'straight' women dancing in the same space, possibly due to the scarcity of available chaps... or at least, that's how the story goes... - English Girl

So those are our options, find the rarest of the rare - a single boy capable of social interaction, sexpats, girl on girl or masturbation. But is there an often untapped resource? Straight girls, listen up, there are boys out there.

If you want to get laid, think backpackers! Now granted they can be a little smelly and you really don't want to hear how meditation changed their life, or the funny story with the syphilis, but showers, oral sex and condoms will fix all the issues.

Shagging backpackers is the new black. Of course it is the definition of a one night stand but at least you can be fairly sure that you won't be the subject of the latest Phnom Penh gossip. Upon close observation, the habitat of the vir backpackerus cambodi appears to be concentrated in lakeside. There is cheap drinking up there too.

I have a friend who was seriously dicked over by a male expat here. I still recall the text she sent me that said "I think I just have to go to the lake and meet a backpacker." So I took her to the lake that evening. She eyed one guy who was sitting at a table near us at the Flying Elephant... My friend got exactly what she wanted, finding a cute guy who she danced and made out with. - Liz

I'm just going to stick with the ol' back packers! - B

In a community where there are so many more female expats than males, and so many of the males already have significant others, sometimes you just gotta go to the lake and hook up with a backpacker.

I've heard a number of expat females who have gone backpacker one lonely night. The guy(s) really go for the whole expat thing and think it's awesome you live here. If one is trying to hook up with a backpacker, taking them to heart of darkness is a MUST. - - Liz

So, girls, if you are lonely and/or horny and there is zero possibility of going out with an expat, then head up to the lake where you can find company for the evening. Just remember to use plenty of soap and the entire box of condoms.

Intellectual stimulation

Calling all poetry, music and performance lovers ... Talkin' to a stranger is having an open mic night on Wednesday (30th May) at 8pm. More information here. Get your intellectual stimulation on!

Don't panic!

Celebrate Towel Day!

It's the day dedicated to the genius of Mr Douglas Adams. Carry a towel around with you today in whatever manner you fancy -

you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

Celebrate the author who gave the world such memorable quotes as

"Space," it says, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindboggingly big it is. I mean you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space

We'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere ... and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

To summarise the summary: anyone capable of getting themselves made President should by no means be allowed to do the job.

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.

Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't.

[Trillian] is one of the least benightedly unintelligent life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

I'll stop there but the whole thing is eminently quotable from the radio series to the TV series, the book and the movie. Do yourself a favour and jump aboard the Heart of Gold.

Heat

The weather is so hot that my feet were in pain from walking barefoot from the changing rooms to the pool, today at lunchtime. It must have been a grand total of eight metres. The ground was scorching and I had forgotten my flipflops. The though of scorching tiles didn't occur to me. I normally swim before work when the heat is less stifling. And you know it's hot when getting in the water brings no relief. The water is the same - too hot.

Monday night I had to sleep without aircon due to technical issues. I opened the window and tried to sleep with the fan but it was too hot. I lay in bed sweating and wishing that the rainy season would come. It's always slightly cooler after a rainstorm before the steamy, humid heat hits.

Credit card

I went to the bank today intending to get a credit card. I am sick of wiring money to pay my regular credit card bill - it costs $35 to send any amount of money. I don't use credit cards much here much but they are useful for overseas and internet purchases.

My bank, which is a multinational monster, does not offer any credit card services to customers in Cambodia. I didn't believe the teller when he repeated over and over again that they really do not issue credit cards.

I've got to find an alternative to a fee of $35 per transactions and hopefully something will reveal itself.

Puncture

My motorbike got a puncture today, while I was having lunch. I find it most curious that my the tube of my bike got slit while stationary. This is not the first time it has happened. I freakishly got a puncture while spending the afternoon in the Pavillion. Is it time to take the stickers off my bike. The repair does not cost much but it is most inconvenient.

Is it the state of the roads, or an annoying foreigners thing? It is the third time in a month. Maybe I should vary my haunts.

A new planet

BBC are talking about our neighbours, living on Gliese 581, should we call them the Glieseans? Will they call us Earthers, Earthlings or Terrans maybe?

It's 20 light-years away and so we won't be going there anytime soon, but with new kinds of propulsion technology that could change in the future. And obviously we'll be training some powerful telescopes on it to see what we can see.

Right you rocket scientists over to you. It's about time we had warp factor, hyperspace or jumpgates to explore the galaxy. It can't be too complicated - Hollywood's been doing it for year - Star Trek, Babylon 5 and Firefly, and you are rocket scientists, reputed to have the brains and bright ideas.

Of course nobody knows if there is life out there but if we get there first maybe we can find a new planet now that we've completely destroyed Earth. Think of it, we could start whole new wars and have an excuse to develop new weapons!

Seriously though, remember to

Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.
- Monty Python - Galaxy song