Happy new year

Been away from Bloglandia but I will return soon with more vitriol and bitching. In the meantime some funny:

"A man may fight for many things. His country, his friends, his principles, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn." - Blackadder

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes." - Ford Prefect

"I smeared my opponents, bribed the press to be on my side, and threatened to torture the electorate if we lost! I fail to see what more a decent politician could have done." - Pitt the even Younger

"So in the name of security, all men entering the premises must have their bottoms fondled by this drooling pervert?" - Blackadder

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." - Zaphod Beeblebrox

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools" - Ford Prefect

"Come on, Ted. Sure it's no more peculiar than all that stuff we learned in the seminary, you know, Heaven and Hell and everlasting life and all that type of thing. You're not meant to take it seriously, Ted!" - Father Dougal

"They were a bit obsessed with the old...S-E-X. God I'm glad I never think of that type of thing Father. That whole sexual world. God, when you think of it it's a dirty, filthy thing, isn't it Father? Can you imagine Father? Can you imagine Father, looking up at your husband, him standing over you with his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself? God almighty can you imagine that Father? Can you picture it there Father? Oh get a good mental picture of it. Can you see him there? Ready to do the business? - Mrs Doyle

"I'm not a fascist, I'm a priest. Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas...priests..." - Father Ted